Friday's Faux Paw

First off, I'd like to thank everyone who has sent me well wishes. I am feeling a lot better now.

Today's faux paw is about wearing the correct bra. I saw a woman the other day who looked like she had a set of boobs on her back because her bra was way too tight and riding up causing back fat to ooze out underneath. Not an attractive look! 

Here are tips to make sure you get the correct bra for your size:

1. Get a tape measure and put on the best bra that you have.
2. Measure your band size by putting the tape measure around the bottom of the bra. Write it down in inches.
3. Meaure your bust size by putting the tape around your breasts at the fullest point, which typically is where your nipples are. Write it down in inches.
4. Figure out the cup size by subtracting the band size from the bust size.If your bust size is less than 1 inch bigger than your band size, you’re a cup size AA, 1-inch difference = A, 2-inch difference = B,3-inch difference = C, 4-inch difference = D, 5-inch difference = DD.

Now go out and get the right bra. Or if you're having difficulties, go and see a professional bra fitter. Otherwise I give this rating: 

Friday's Faux Paw

Today's faux paw is a mistake made by many women. Not only does it age you, it just looks weird and unnatural. I speak of the over-plucked eyebrow. Maybe Pamela Anderson was the reason it became so popular, but on her it looks harsh and fake and it definitely does on you too. The worst is when women decide to draw on the eyebrow with a dark line after over-plucking. Ever notice that babies and young kids have natural brows? If you mimic their bushier eyebrows, you too will look younger. I know it's hard to stop the plucking. Joelle had the tweezers hidden at our house so she wouldn't be tempted to over-pluck. Once she got through that horrible regrowth stage and didn't pluck for several months (as eyebrow hair grows in stages) she was then able to pluck stray hairs without over-plucking. So drop the tweezers or scale way back or you will be dropping big bucks on an eyebrow transplant someday when those hairs are unable to grow back.

Friday's Faux Paw

This is a tricky faux paw to master. It takes some time and energy, being truly honest with yourself and possibly enlisting some professional help. What I'm speaking about is wearing the correct colours for your skin tone, hair colour, and eye colour. If you don't know your correct colours you run the risk of wearing a colour that washes you out, or makes you look older, tired or ill. And who wants that? There are different ways of accomplishing this, but the most popular is finding out your colours by season based on the book Color Me Beautiful by Carole Jackson. If you want to try and figure out what colours look the best on you head here to take a test to find out what season you are and therefore which colours will look their best on you. Colours are usually divided into two categories - warm which has spring and autumn, and cool which has summer and winter. Autumn has the same colours as spring but they are darker and more intense and winter has the same colours as summer but are darker and more intense plus winter includes black and white. It's also super easy to rule out whether or not you're a winter. All you need to do is hold up something black, then hold up something pure white. If you look awful with both, then you aren't a winter because only a person with winter colouring can wear a true black or white. It's okay if colours from both warm seasons autumn and spring look good on you, or colours from both cool seasons winter and summer look good on you. However colours from warm seasons will generally not look good on someone with cool colouring and vice versa. Joelle and I both know our colours. Joelle is a spring who can wear some autumn colours and I am a winter. Master this and you won't receive this rating:

Friday's Faux Paw

If it doesn't fit you must acquit! While that may have been a popular saying years ago at the OJ Simpson trial, the same holds true in fashion to this day. In case you don't know, the majority of humans cannot buy directly off the rack and get the clothing to perfectly fit. Yes I'm talking to all the ladies that think they have weird bodies. It is not you, it is the clothes! They are made based on what the industry thinks is a standard size. They will fit many people but not all people. Doesn't that make you feel better? I know when Joelle realized this gem of information she became rather happy. So unless you are scared of looking good, go and find yourself a good tailor. Otherwise your most expensive outfit (like Gwyneth shown here) that doesn't fit well will look cheap. Good tailoring means you can spend less get the outfit tailored and look like a million bucks. If you don't, you deserve this rating: 

Friday's Faux Paw

The bad news is that this faux paw will make you look older and sickly. The good news is that it's relatively simple to fix. I speak of the dreaded too dark hair colour. As you get older you lose colour in your face so the hair colour you choose can't be too dark. You will know it's too dark if you look older, washed out, tired, and sick. If you're not sure if your hair is too dark, ask someone who will be brutally honest with you (I'm available) or a stylist who knows their stuff. If you're too scared to ask someone, keep this rule in mind. Try going two shades lighter than your usual colour. Look in the mirror and see if you look younger, vibrant, awake, and healthy. If so, then you've succeeded in finding the right colour. The colour that may now look best on you may be lighter than your natural colour and this is okay. If you still don't look your best continue to go lighter or get some well placed streaks until you look great. 

Friday's Faux Paw

I see this faux paw often and it's a shame as it's really something easy to not do. I'm talking about women over forty wearing frosted/shiny/sparkly/glittery eye shadow. When you're in your twenties you can pretty much get away with any type of eye shadow. As women get older, it's best to use only matte eye shadow because it stays on better, and it won't amplify every wrinkle making you look older than you actually are. If you find that you have wrinkly eye lids before you are forty, the same rule applies. If you insist on using a frosted eye shadow, only apply it on your brow bone as a highlighter because there usually aren't many wrinkles there. Over forty and blessed with wrinkle-free lids? Then hats off to you! Please write Joelle and let her know your secret because she'd love to talk to you. If this is indeed the case, then go for a frosted or satin shadow, but do skip the outright sparkly glittery options unless you are modelling, acting, pole-dancing, or rockstarring. Yes I just made up a word.

Friday's Faux Paw

You can put the nicest outfit on, do your hair and make-up properly, but if you don't have the inside right then the outside package doesn't matter. By insides I mean being confident in who you are, forgiving others (and yourself), letting go of negative thoughts, treating others as you wish to be treated, participating in a cause greater than yourself, and being kind to animals - especially Boston Terriers. This is nothing new. You've heard it all before so I'm probably sounding like Charlie Brown's teacher, "Woh, woh, woh, wo-woh wo woh, woh, woh." But do it anyway. You'll figure out very quickly that it does make a world of difference in how you're seen in the world. If you don't, then you are as Trooper used to sing, "a three dressed up as a nine you're only wasting my time." So I'm giving you a three poo rating until you comply. Yeah this Faux Paw worked out differently than others, didn't it?

Friday's Faux Paw

When you put on mascara, it is supposed to make you look better. If you choose clumpy mascara, you look like there is a hairy spider around each of your eyes. If your mascara clumps, either throw it out and buy a new one or if it's new then buy a better mascara. Expensive doesn't necessarily equal better. After applying mascara, use an eyelash comb (or save a mascara wand from a past tube and clean it) and run it through your lashes to get rid of clumps. Also if you find that your mascara flakes off under your eyes making you look like a raccoon, then once again buy a better mascara! Mature women, if you wear mascara try not wearing it on your lower lashes. This makes one look more awake (it detracts from dark under-eye circles) and draws the eye upwards and away from those crow's feet that may be starting to show under your eyes. If mascara doesn't enhance your eyes and instead makes you look worse, then why even bother wearing it at all?

Friday's Faux Paw

I thought I'd end this year off with a faux paw that I have seem everywhere this past year. It is really a simple one to avoid but if you don't,  I think you will look tacky no matter what age you are. I'm talking about having a bra strap or two showing. Unless you are a rock star, I think that this faux paw takes your look from a ten to a two. So, if you're wearing an off the shoulder shirt, wear a strapless bra. Or you could wear a tank top underneath and show that off instead. Do not wear one with spaghetti straps because that will not conceal your bra straps properly. If you're wearing a sheer top, then wear a tank top or camisole underneath. If you have thin bra straps, you can get away with a thin strapped camisole under something sheer. If you're wearing a racerback tank top, then wear a racerback bra or invest in a convertible one which can be worn in a variety of different ways. And as for wearing something strapless, wear a strapless bra with it. One last thing, please for the love of fashion's sake do not wear a bra with those plastic clear "invisible straps". You're not fooling anyone because they are far from invisible and look dreadful.

Friday's Faux Paw

There has been much debate over today's faux paw. Some say it's fine provided you wear sandalfoot nylons, while others like me say it's tacky. I'm talking about wearing open toed shoes or sandals with nylons. My opinion is if you wear open toed shoes or sandals, then go barefoot or you will look like you're a grandmother - and not a stylish one at that. My Grandmother is actually very stylish, but I digress. If you don't believe me, then check out the photo on the left and see which foot looks better. It's extra bad if you wear nylons with open toed shoes or sandals in a colour other than nude or black - remember the white nylon craze? I heartily say paint your toenails and let your feet be free. And get a pedicure while you're at it.

Friday's Faux Paw

I don't understand why some humans don't dress their age. Everyone has had their younger years at one time and need to eventually step aside and let the next generation wear the clothes you once wore that now are no longer appropriate for you.

Ladies, when I see a woman over the age of forty wearing whiskered jeans, I want to know if she thinks she's cool that she raided her teenager's closet. Not only do you look stupid, but you also look heavier than you are due to the horizontal striping (whiskering) on your thighs. Whiskered jeans are only to be worn in your 20's and if you have a boyish body - ie. no hips or thighs. Rockstars and models can also get away with this style. So if you're not listed here, please don't wear them.

Gentlemen, your example of not dressing your age for today is not wearing motorcycle clothing especially if you don't own a motorcycle. When you do this you look like a middle-aged poser. Put on some age appropriate khakis and a polo shirt. You will thank me when the ladies actually start showing you some interest. 

These are only two of the many examples for dressing too young for your age. Maybe if you're lucky and recommend this blog to everyone you meet, someday I will list other age faux paws.

My big tip of the day is don't shop at stores aimed at teenagers or people in their 20's. The clothing styles are made smaller and cheaper looking for the youngsters, More often than not, the styles are too young for the mature woman or man.

Friday's Faux Paw

Today I'm discussing a lesser faux paw but still one I would like to address before summer officially ends. I'm speaking of wearing socks with sandals. Men mostly seem to be the perpetrators of this fashion crime. First off, this doesn't even make sense. If your feet are cold enough to wear socks, there is this wonderful invention called shoes which you could wear instead. Sandals were created to keep your feet cool, so why would you need to wear socks? Plus, wearing socks with sandals is not practical. If you ever step in a puddle while wearing them it's an experience you'll never forget I'm sure. And I'm not even going to elaborate on how stupid you look.